along the way

It's been a long time since I've last penned my thoughts on anything permanent that I can hold against myself. Too many thoughts, too many emotions, too many wrong turns. I've always thought that you blog when you're upset. It's as CS Lewis says "We don't write to be understood, we write to understand." I haven't written anything. I just did it.

Here's the rub: At the end of the day, you just have to deal with it. Whatever it is. There's really no use dwelling about things. I was thinking in the office today that we're always victims of our own narratives. We make excuses, we victimise ourselves. If we were to step back and look at ourselves, what would we see? Who did we hurt along the way? Whose heart did we stamp on? I like to think the best of people, regardless of how naive it may seem to be. I really doubt that people make decisions to be bitchy or full of malice or to break someone's heart, spirit or soul. I think sometimes we all just try to save our own asses first. And we're blind to everything else.

I'm done.
I'm moving on.
I may have lost 6 or 7 years but damn it, at least it wasn't 10 or 20.
At the end of the day, I'm gonna have to contend with the voices in my head and if they're okay with me then so am I.