Clearing out the system

Here's just some random musings - things to exhume from my mind to make room for all the Sociology coming up in the week. ;)

Sunday night was a much belated rendezvous with Lokie. Was fabulous to just sit and talk about NIE, Malay, travelling... and my thesis. My thesis seems to be a pet conversation topic of mine - get used to it, people. I suspect you will hear little of anything else in the coming year. >,< Lokie helped me out, and we talked about some of the challenges I might face with my topic. Eymani was supposed to come too, but she had to work late. I'm looking forward to a nice cosy reunion of the sexmates. lol.

Tonight I met up with Suan Lee. Chairil was supposed to come too, but he had to work late. I miss my boys! It's a little reassuring to know that some things stay the same, and SL and Chairil remind me off innocent days of secondary school which were the best days of my life.

My mother thinks Bobo is pregnant.

I still need a supervisor.

Remind me to tell you about my Life Makeover. It began with an epiphany in a Borders aisle, incidentally, during a Depressed Day. I was perusing something called The Big Book of Me, something which would inevitably catch the interest of a sociopath like yours truly. A random page opened and it spoke of two kinds of friends - Friends who Energise and Friends who Drain you. I have both. I am not proud of the fact, and up to that moment I was laced with guilt at the very idea of thinking of my friends as "draining". I thought I had insecurity issues (I probably atill do - but the point is that now I can acknowledge it without guilt because, hey, it's not me!) but then there you go. Now that I can acknowledge it, what am I going to do about it? I have the power. I can reconfigure my reality. So I either have to find a new paradigm so hanging out with some people isn't so full of agony and I don't sit, festering, thinking I'd rather be poking my arm with a series of sharp pokers and feeling slighted OR I can simply NOT HANG OUT WITH THEM. Shang and Mash and everyone I whine to keep telling me that but out of obligation, I've just kept doing it. I talked to Mike, and he stated the obvious: If you don't tell them what they're doing wrong, how are they going to change?

Valid points, all of them. "I was angry with my friend/I told my friend/My wrath did end/I was angry with my foe/I told him not/My wrath did grow". *HUGS BLAKE* Personally, honestly, I don't see the point in a confrontation. I may be wrong, but ANYWAY. My point: my life is in my control. I'm responsible for my own decisions.

My thesis statement, so to say, is this: Henceforth, I am going to try as far as I may, to make intelligent and informed rational decisions about my life. Especially those which have a direct influence on my happiness. I am eager to be content with my life, screw whoever who stands in my way. Now I'm not being idealistic here. I know it won't be easy. But I intend to face every obstacle in my way and try my best to overcome them. I guess my Life Makeover is just my goal to be happy. Do something productive about my misgivings. Etc.

I'm clearing out my room. Those of you who know me and actually seen my room will know the magnitude of this endeavour. I'm a sentimental fool. I keep junk. Well I figure, I need to clear out old clutter to make way for the new. Both metaphorically and literally. Applies to both people and things.

ZAIFAAAA!!! I'm waiting for my list.... heheheheeeee.... Can't wait! :)